This time, I would like to introduce Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
The core idea behind this book is:
Focus on what you can control.
It sounds obvious.
There is no point in continuing to worry about things that are beyond our control.
What other people think.
How other people judge us.
Things that have already happened in the past.
Instead of focusing on those things, it is better to focus on how we think and how we act.
We understand this in our minds.
But is it really that easy?
I don’t think so.
I also complain when something bothers me.
Sometimes, I worry about what other people say or do.
Sometimes, I spend too much time thinking about things I cannot change.
It is not that I am completely devoted to Stoic philosophy.
That is why I wanted to think about this idea not only as a concept that sounds correct, but also about how we can actually apply it in our daily lives.
When I looked back on my own experiences, one particular memory came to mind.
It was my experience with relationships while living in Australia.
Before sharing that story, I would like to first introduce what Meditations is about.
What Is Meditations?
The book that introduced me to this idea is Meditations, written by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
Marcus Aurelius was born in 121 AD and ruled the Roman Empire as emperor from 161 to 180 AD.
From a young age, he studied philosophy and was deeply influenced by Stoic philosophy.
He loved philosophy and wanted to live a life guided by philosophical principles.
However, his life did not unfold the way he had hoped.
He became the emperor of Rome, a position that required him to govern the empire.
At the borders of the empire, invasions by foreign tribes occurred, and he was forced to confront wars.
Furthermore, the Roman Empire was also facing the spread of a devastating plague.
His life was not one where he could quietly spend his days thinking about philosophy.
Instead, he was surrounded by events that he could not control, while still having to fulfill his responsibilities as emperor.
During this difficult period, Marcus Aurelius wrote words to himself.
Meditations was not written as a book for other people to read.
It was more like a personal notebook, written as he reflected on his own thoughts, actions, and how he should live.
That is why, when reading this book, the words of an emperor from nearly 2,000 years ago still feel surprisingly personal and real.
A person who wanted to live as a philosopher had to face wars as an emperor.
A person surrounded by circumstances beyond his control continued to think about how he could maintain himself and his principles.
Meditations preserves Marcus Aurelius’ struggles and his efforts to overcome them.
I believe that is what makes this book so fascinating.
Focus on What You Can Control
After reading Meditations, the idea that stayed with me the most was:
Focus on what you can control.
There are many things in life that we cannot change.
What other people think.
How other people evaluate us.
Things that have already happened.
Situations and environments that are beyond our ability to change.
No matter how much we worry about these things, we cannot change them.
On the other hand, we can choose how we think and how we act.
That is why we should not allow ourselves to be consumed by things we cannot control, but instead focus on what we can do.
It is a simple idea.
But putting it into practice is difficult.
So I started thinking about how I could actually apply this idea in my own life.
Surround Yourself with Good Friends
For me, one way to practice this idea was to surround myself with good friends.
The kind of person I consider a good friend is not necessarily someone who always says positive things.
It is someone who is focused on what they need to do in their own life.
I do not think it is wrong to share complaints or frustrations with others.
Everyone does that.
Of course, I do it too.
The important thing is not allowing ourselves to be consumed by those feelings.
When you spend time with people who are focused on what they need to do, you naturally begin to focus on yourself as well.
Instead of thinking,
“What did that person do?”
you start asking yourself,
“What can I do?”
On the other hand, if you spend a lot of time with people who constantly complain about their surroundings or other people, you can gradually be influenced by that mindset.
That is why, when we want to change the way we think, it is important not only to try to change ourselves but also to think carefully about who we spend our time with.
I strongly realized this during my time in Australia.
I Was Afraid of Being Alone and Spent Time with Many Different People
When I first moved to Australia, I was afraid of being alone, so I spent time with many different people.
Since I had just started a new life overseas, I think I was anxious about not having any friends.
So whenever someone invited me somewhere, I tried to join as much as possible.
Among the people I spent time with, there were some who were consumed by complaints and frustrations.
Complaints about work.
Complaints about other people.
Complaints about their environment.
Of course, I do not think talking about frustrations is a bad thing.
Everyone needs to express their feelings sometimes.
However, as I continued listening to those conversations, I gradually realized that I was also being affected by them.
I started thinking,
“Maybe this is not good for me.”
After that, I slowly began to create some distance.
I declined invitations to gatherings more often.
I stopped meeting people more than necessary.
Rather than suddenly cutting off relationships, I gradually created some space.
Naturally, there was a period when I felt lonely.
However, because of that, I had more time for myself.
And during that time, I met new people.
For example:
People who were working hard to build a career as photographers.
People who were completely immersed in their passion for dance.
They were not spending their time constantly complaining about their lives.
They were using their time to pursue what they wanted to do and what they needed to do.
By spending time with people like them, I naturally became more focused on my own life as well.
Looking back, choosing not to fear temporary loneliness and creating distance from certain relationships was one of the most important decisions I made.
You Can Choose Your Environment
After reading Meditations, I found myself reflecting on this experience again.
Focus on what you can control.
Perhaps this does not simply mean trying not to care about other people.
It also means recognizing that we have some control over the environment we place ourselves in and the people we choose to spend our time with.
Of course, we cannot make everything happen exactly the way we want.
However, there are still choices we can make.
Will we continue to focus on complaints and frustrations?
Or will we focus on what we need to do?
To do that, I believe it is important to spend time with people who help us stay focused on the latter.
Marcus Aurelius also lived with many things he could not control, despite being the emperor of Rome.
He repeatedly reflected on how he could maintain himself and his principles while facing a reality that did not go according to his wishes.
That is why Meditations still feels so relevant today, even though it was written nearly 2,000 years ago.
There are many things in life that we cannot control.
That is exactly why we should focus on what we can do.
And when we are about to lose sight of that, it is valuable to have people around us who remind us of what truly matters.
Reading Meditations made me think about these things once again.
If you have recently felt overwhelmed by the actions of others or by your surrounding environment, I recommend giving Meditations a try.
I believe this book can provide an opportunity to reflect on your own life and the way you choose to live.
